secluded but not alone

Misha Gordin

"Doubt" 

 Collegeville, Minnesota

I come across this place on a top of a hill.

It overlooked the lake encircled by the wreath of pines and birches. 

The rolling hills would stretch to a nearby monastery 

with bells ringing every passing hour.

It’s time to choose between established city life and simple life in nature.

Not far from this place lived a man with one leg. 

He lost the other in a war.

I asked him if he would pose for me. He simply answered yes. 

This yes helped fade my doubt away.

Late autumn of the same year I moved to start a new chapter of my life. 

"Crowd"

Step inside. I am alone.

Step inside. My place is warm.

Step inside. The night is young.

Step inside. We'll play a game.

Step inside. I'll touch your soul.

Step inside. The moon is full.

Step inside. In maze of thoughts.

Step inside. We'll lock the door.

Step inside of spiders net.

Step inside. Don't be afraid.

"Crowd" 

The raging beast of passing storm

That cruel waken-er of soul

With melting gusts of blindfold fury

Against the shield of hardened will.

Like moans emerged from distant past

Comes fear inscribed on crevices of pain

And notion that the storm will pass

Reflected in a lonely tear.

"Crowd" 

In harmony of sound and silence

Like play of fire and the wind

The dialogue of art and mastery of touch.

"Crowd"

Alone in the cruel world

Alone with an echo of thoughts

Alone like a beast in a saint

Alone and the sound is deaf

Alone to absorb the light

Alone in a mothers womb.

"Crowd"

To sweep the memories away

To scrape the soiled steps of being

To shelter spirit from the past

To blend the ashes with the dust.

"Crowd"

In soundless solitude of wait

Observing changing guards of light

Nocturnal bird to touch the string

In magic call to wake the night.

"Crowd"

Close your hands, hold me inside.

Close your soul, set pain aside.

Close your thoughts, the tong is numb.

Close your heart to sense the flesh.

Close your eyes in light of night.

Fall asleep and never die wrapped in shroud of lullaby.

"Crowd"

To live the life

To walk the mist

To drink the rain

To fly the sky

To feel the pass

To melt the pain

To learn from scars

To plant the seed

To live the life.

"Crowd"

Look around. The wall is sound.

Look inside. The light is blind.

Look below. The floor is rock.

Look ahead. The trigger cocked.

"Crowd"

Memories,

Concealed in pillars of the past

Like bridge between the distant thoughts

Like silent dance of warmth and sadness

In lonely journey of the soul.

"Crowd"

The Beasts of Guilt

The Vultures of a Soul

The Carriers of the Torch

The Anchors to the Past.

"Crowd"

The tune of prayer unknown to me

The pass of thoughts unknown to me

The touch of hand unknown to me

The length of trust unknown to me

The scent of fear unknown to me

The pain of loss unknown to me

The strength of will unknown to me.

"Crowd"

Like arrow of a blinding light

Like gust of vigorous desire

Like compass of unbending will

Comes sudden movement in a still.

"Crowd"

The secret of a wounded soul

The verdict on the walls of sorrow

Seep through the scars of loss

Restrained by dikes of will.

The sadness of the song

Trapped by the strings of guilt

When day declines to rise

Who is to blame..

"Crowd"

I live among identical strangers.

They have the similar interests. 

They share the same taste. 

They look alike and worship the same god. 

They are a crowd of one.

"Crowd" 

In unity of dream and real

From darkest corners of the heart

Like shadow from the murky past

Emerges call for a lonely prayer.